You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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