I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
