i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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