So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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