my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
