Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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