I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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