I CAN MOONWALK!
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
