god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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