@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
