And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
How naked do you want me to be?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
