The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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