There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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