He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
