My friends, they love my intelligence
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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