You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
