4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
