So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
