and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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