is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
