All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
