So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
