She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
