What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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