So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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