She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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