So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
