I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I FOUND THE LEGS
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