I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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