I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
