if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
