Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
