Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
