You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I wish i was in the wii world.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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