We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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