yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
