I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
