Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
