i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
