Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
