So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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