he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
