It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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