Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
