i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Houston, we have a squirter
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
