They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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