All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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