she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
