tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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