I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
