I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
