belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
